keep your saw sharp and your head above water

thank you to k fo for welcoming me to the dark side. thats right, i dyed my hair. i may no longer be blonde but you can bet your ass ill always be *a* blonde. ive wanted to try it for like two years now but i was always afraid to lose the blonde until recently so i figured i might as well do it while i was still feeling brave. so i did. and it kind of looks natural too. or so ive been told. like its not as big of an adjustment as i thought it would be. so im happy about it. and speaking of happy, today was the first day i woke up and didnt feel like i was in a cloud. i think im finally getting over whatever that was. hopefully. my worst point wasnt too good. im tired of feeling that way. and tired of my parents asking me whats wrong and saying i looked really sad and stuff. i really didnt think you could tell on the outside until people like eric started asking me what was wrong and why i looked so upset at work and stuff. all i know is i have amazing friends for putting up with my shit and helping me through everything. esp. dub who has had to put up with me and my "darkness" every single day through force of tennis. haha we still managed to have some good times through it though (chicken marsala). the past few days have been up and down. i think i left off at thursday. we had a scrimage that day and my heart was not in it at all. i just wanted the match to be over more than i cared about winning. me and dub did pretty good though. each point was really close and we didnt get killed or anything. then that night i went and got my hair did. friday i had tennis again but it was good cause only john was there and bridget and dub led us in yoga at the end which was an amazing break from sprints and suicides. friday night i went to target with the parents and before we left was bad cause i just felt like poo all of a sudden and kind of flipped out but i had to go cause i needed to get some brunette shampoo stuff so the dye doesnt get all washed out. then i was bored and doing nothing and michelle called and we were gonna hang out cause we havent in god knows how long but since neither of us have our stupid licenses, we went with her friend who drives and other non-friends. her friend was a cool kid though and we went to the great american and me, him, and michelle sat in there and drank and talked cause no one wanted food, we just went for somewhere to go. then i went back to michelles and we had like a deep convo about stuff thats going on and the past year and then i got picked up at 11 cause suddenly my parents are crazy like that and i have a curfew now? on saturday me and the fam went out to dinner at the mac grill for the first time and its a really cute place. not what i expected. and dub came with so we could go shopping at oxford afterwards. got a lil shopping in but dub ran out of money and my stomach was killing me so we cut it short at 6:30 (!!) and went our seperate ways. i pretty much layed around and died from food poisoning the rest of the night. it probly wasnt really food poisoning but i cant think of anything else to blame. sunday i had work. the best of three evils. i was happy bout it though cause i miss seeing some of those people since i dont work week days anymore. didnt get a lot of attention from my 80 year old harasser though. guess he only likes blondes. ohh snap. so that was a pretty good day i guess. didnt feel much like working though. me dub and allyson were on drive thru and unfortunatly for allyson, dub felt the same way. so we took shifts standing in the sandwich station talking to eric and occasionally we'd even be back there at the same time. it wasnt that busy though at least. and some people were feeling a little distructive.. melting cheese then trying to make it stick to the cieling/wall, putting a donut in the blender, putting a donut in the toaster and getting melted burning chocolate all down the inside of it(didnt think that one through did we?) then last night britt came over (who is a psychic cause she knew i dyed my hair before she saw it) and we watched the vma's and i was very upset that mcr didnt take home anything and that the entire show was basically rap. no diddy next year please. me and britt talked a lot though about life in general these days. things like college, dorm life, sats, skipping college and being a bum instead, certain people that you're forced to deal with through school, the fact that my summer is dead and gone and she still has another week or so, jobs, and.. on the topic of vma's.. that mike jones looks like an ogre, the gorillas never show up for anything, brandon flowers had his eyebrows waxed, hilary duff's face looks extremely fake and thus creepy, joel madden could have done much better, gwen stefani had no business being the best dressed, mariah carey lives in her own little world in which she is the center of and its really old, gerard way's pants were really tight (aint nothin wrong with that!!), at the end of r. kelly's 10 minute performance you felt like your brain just slid out your ear and the only word going through it was roofus, i finally got to see the infamous dane cook who ive heard soo much about(dub), and to sum it all up, it was ctk tradition to go through your "ghetto phase" in 7th and 8th and now we're over it and that show was way too rap/hip-hop for our likings. so it was a productive night. then today came and i felt so much better than ive been feeling but i still didnt want to go to tennis. we didnt have practice till 1:30 since the freshmen had their first day today and i was trying to think of every excuse imaginable to get myself out of it but i had nothin. so i went and i promise it was like the hottest practice of the year and i was a gross sweaty mess within the first five minutes. mg was being such a bitch for absolutly no reason too. we'd be like setting up the balls for the shuffle thing and the whole time shes just screaming like a maniac about everything and nothing all at once. thank god i didnt have to practice with her today though cause she was the same way the whole two hours. the running at the end almost killed me though. i felt so naucious and dead afterwards it wasnt even funny. so now it rains of course. about four hours after the fact. and i cant get over that we have school tomorrow. and so a whole new countdown till summer begins. only 8 million more days. woo♥

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